Hey there, Reader. Confession: this weekend I posted a reel about my 6:15am scroll, kids asleep, phone in hand, before I even got out of bed. And I'm the therapist who's supposed to know better.

So this month's The Mama Lunch Break goes one level under it: why your brain turns research into self-judgment, and what actually breaks the spiral. The video below is short and practical: one tool for the exact moment you catch the comparison mid-scroll.

👇 Click below to watch 👇

More of a reader, or nap-trapped with no headphones? This month's written strategy is below: one real text that breaks the spiral better than any detox. Plus: the blog has the full story and you can find the full transcript of what I shared in the video at the bottom of this email.

The Blog

Mindfulness & Meditation

This month the strategy is not a breathing exercise. It's a text message.

Here's the whole practice: once this week, when you catch the scroll flipping from research into audit (you know the feeling: you opened the app for ideas and suddenly you're ranking your life against a stranger's fridge), don't just close the app. Send one real text to one real mom. Not a highlight. The truth.

Why this works: the spiral runs on a fake sample, hundreds of polished best moments back to back. One real reply, the sink full of dishes, the kid in pajamas at 4pm, the "same, girl", recalibrates the whole census faster than any detox ever will. The goal here is to opt in for connection and out of comparison.

That's it. One text. The comments section of real life is so much better. And for the in-the-moment version, watch the video at the top of this email - it walks you through exactly what to do mid-scroll.

Upcoming Events:

​The Mama Lunch Break: 2nd Monday Gathering​

Because you were never meant to figure this out alone
​
This is the space where you get to exhale. Ask the questions. Say the hard things. Guided by me, Ellie, with a mix of open conversation and rotating expert guest co-facilitators, you'll leave feeling heard, seen, and ready to take on whatever motherhood throws at you.

When: Every 2nd Monday

11:30am - 12:30pm

Where: At Tinleaf Fresh Kitchen in Carlsbad

Expanding Your Capacity September 14th Co-facilitated with Dr. Monika Tangney, DPT and pelvic floor specialist. She’ll guide our conversation on what holds our capacity back in mind and body, share expert insights, and lead a short experiential practice to help you reconnect with your whole self.

Kids, Holidays & Stress October 12th Co-facilitated with a guest expert Dr. Maggie Atlas, child psychologist, we’ll explore the deep connection between your nervous system and your child’s as holiday chaos approaches. We’ll share practical strategies to navigate their stress, along with grounding tools to keep your own body anchored through the seasonal shifts.

​Powerful Connections: A 2-part Mother and Daughter Workshop​

Designed for Moms and their 8–10 year old daughters

If you’ve noticed a shift in your relationship with your daughter lately, or if you're just longing for a deeper bond as she approaches the pre-teen years, please know you are not alone. It’s incredibly common for communication to change and for walls to start going up around ages 8 to 10.

To help navigate this transition, I’m co-facilitating an intentional, two-part series alongside Dr. Maggie Atlas, PsyD, designed to give you a practical blueprint for real-time closeness and easier communication.

How it works: Phase 1 (Moms Only): Date TBD, will be a lunch time session | Virtual – A dedicated space just for us to connect and learn the framework. Phase 2 (Mother & Daughter): Date TBD, will be after school | In-Person – A fun, interactive session to practice your new skills together through guided, hands-on activities.

The total investment is $225, which includes both sessions, all take-home resource materials, and an optional 1:1 follow-up call with us. Space is kept small to ensure an intimate, supportive environment, so head over to the Powerful Connections Workshop page to save your spot. I would love to see you there!

*To ensure the best possible community experience for you and your daughter, our start dates will remain flexible until the group is properly filled. Our hope is to launch the first round by the end of September.

Quick share from a friend: Deena Barselah, a holistic and integrative health coach and my co-facilitator at last month's The Mama Lunch Break gathering, has a program I want on your radar. The Joyful Family Meal is a self-paced video workshop and guide for making family mealtime actually enjoyable, and if dinner at your house is more standoff than meal, this is for you.

Not an ad, I make $0 if you sign up. I just think she's great.

​https://deenabarselah.com/mealtime​

​Lunchbreak Summer

Click the link above to hear your new song of the summer 2026 created at our June The Mama Lunch Break gathering.

(Created with Sono AI)

​Lyrics and original link here​

P.S. Here is the video transcript from above if listening isn't going to work today:

Hi, welcome back to the Mama Lunch Break. I'm glad you're here.

This week it's going to be a shorter video. I am theming this month around my own personal experience this last weekend of getting stuck in the darn doom scroll on Instagram and really wanting to take some time to not just talk about the things we all know - that Instagram ignites something in us and it makes us sometimes feel like shit - but actually digging a little deeper on that, talking a little bit about the science behind it, and also about what actually we can do to improve upon how we're feeling in these moments, not just delete the app.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a big supporter of delete the app if that feels right for you.

But at the end of the day, what you're going to find when you hopefully read the blog that I linked below is that it's not just Instagram that's the problem. It's that we as humans are wired to compare ourselves. We are always trying to figure out how we fit in this world. It's a protective mechanism to make sure we're okay and that everything's going to be okay.

So yeah, we can delete the app and that's going to help us from the doom scroll, but if we're not working on how to get better in those moments of comparison, how to regulate ourselves, we're sort of missing the bigger picture.

So in the video today, I want to take a minute and I want to talk a little bit about what you can do in that moment of comparison, whether it's a doom scroll, whether it's seeing another mom at the pickup line who seems to have her shit together and finding yourself thinking that you're the problem.

So let's go.

First and foremost, anytime we feel those big feelings, we need to be able to name them. Not just notice it afterwards and go, oh my god, I can't believe I got caught in my head and was feeling so terrible, but actually name it in the moment. Catch it while it's happening and call yourself out.

So when you notice your whole body getting tight, your shoulders tensing up, your heart racing, maybe your body temperature rising, that's probably the moment you're starting to compare, because you're in fight or flight.

So say it out loud: whoa, I feel really uncomfortable right now. Or, whoa, I think I'm comparing myself. Or, oh my gosh, my body is trying to protect me from something right now. What is going on?

Then take a deep breath and assess.

What is happening in your body right now?

What are those somatic triggers that are happening?

Breathe into them. Try to slow them down if they feel really crappy. Take a pause if you need to. Maybe even step away if it's something you can do. But really connect in your body. Get grounded.

The next thing I want you to do is notice how you're feeling. Like, what am I feeling right now? If it was me, on Sunday or Saturday, whatever day it was, I would say, ooh, I'm feeling really crappy about myself right now. I'm sitting here believing that I don't matter. I'm sitting here believing that everything that I'm doing is crap and I need to start over. That feels - well, for lack of a better word, that feels like shit. Okay. I feel like shit right now.

So after that - we name the feeling in our body, we notice the feeling in our body, we slow down enough, we call out our emotional feeling, and then we decide:

What am I going to do about it?

Do I want to stay here, or do I want to move?

Sometimes the decision is that we want to stay, but we want to feel differently, and we go, okay, I need to remind myself that the things that I'm doing aren't a judgment on myself, that the things that I'm seeing aren't about me. They're other people's experience of the world, and my world doesn't have to look the same. And then we continue and move on.

Maybe we want to stop it. We notice all those other three, and then we pause and go, you know what? I just need to put this away. And that's what I did. I put it away, and I went for a walk.

And that's that last piece. What am I going to do with myself in this next thing, especially if we're closing it down? What does my body and my mind need? Sometimes it needs movement, sometimes it needs conversation. Most of the time, it needs connection, too.

And when you get to that connection piece, drop below. I'm going to share with you a little bit about what to do to help with connection, because connection is vital. We are creatures of connection and community.

So how do we get it when we don't have this artificial connection strategy? Check it out.

And I'm glad you're here. I'll see you next month.